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My baby Jason, mommy loves you so very much.
You came into my life when I was trying so hard
to have a baby, and just couldn't. You filled
that void. You bought so much happiness into our
lives. You were such a silly little boy you made
us laugh all the time. You helped me to learn
lessons that God wanted me to learn. A year
before you were diagnosed with diabetes I found
I was becoming more spiritual, and becoming more
interested in learning about death. Learning
that death is a graduation of the soul. And no
one in Heaven is wringing their hands or paws
worrying, or else it wouldn't be Heaven.
You know Jay, when mommy used to smell
roses, I contacted the author of the book
Highway to Heaven. And I asked him what that
was, and he told me that is a sign of Our Lady,
The Blessed Mother. When you got sick this time,
I prayed over you. I wanted you to get well, but
I knew when I looked at you, you turned your
head and couldn't look back at me. The words of
Sylvia Browne rang in my head 9 times out of 10:
when someone is dying they will turn their head
away, because it is hard to leave. Yes, it is
hard to leave. But you hung in there for mommy
for as long as you could. You wouldn't leave
until that puppy got here; it's as if you knew
you wanted to take care of mommy until the very
end.
I sang you the song: When you walk through
a storm hold your head up high; because baby you
did walk through a storm, and you did it well.
The day you died, I was standing near your
water bowl, and I smelled roses. I bent down to
give you a kiss, because I know it was you.
Daddy, you take good care of my baby until I get
there. And please don't call him fleabag!
Thank you God, for giving me Jason for 15
years. I will always love him. I know he's in
the best hands now. I know you're proud of Jason,
he did a great job. I know he is now wearing a
collar full of sparkling gems. And his fur is as
white as the snow.
And Jason, mommy loves you!
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